Drowning Demons
by psychotic-cat17
Summary: A slew of difficult cases drives Olivia to a night out in search of mindless, anonymous physical gratification. She finds the mindless, but not quite anonymous. PLEASE NOTE RATING.


**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me, they most likely belong to Dick Wolf and/or NBC/Universal. I do this for free, fun entertainment and do not mean to offend anyone.

**Rating/Warning:** MA+ This story contains depictions of a sexual relationship between two women. If you don't like it then don't read it. The warning is serious for this one, so please be warned.

**A/N:** I suppose it's quite possible that I've gone insane. MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PLEASE. What that means if don't get me kicked off this site please. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Drowning Demons<strong>

Olivia had worked the past three weekends in a row and Captain Cragen had ordered her to take this entire weekend off. So she spent most of Saturday talking herself into and then out of going to the club tonight to blow off some steam. She argued back and forth multiple times, knowing that it would probably do her body good to get out and immerse herself in others' writhing bodies but wondering if her psyche could take the damage. Because she knew what would happen if she went out tonight.

It wasn't often that the SVU detective _needed_ to go out to obtain physical release, but the past month of rough cases was causing the demons to ride her hard. All of the cases she handled were difficult due to the nature of the crimes that she investigated, but her recent ones were getting to her, had already gotten to her. She would have preferred to work through the hurt, the often agonizing emotional pain, by continuing to do her job, but had been dismissed by the captain.

Leaving her to sort through her emotions on her own often led to far less than exemplary behavior that she was often ashamed of later. She usually needed to reaffirm that sex could be a good thing and wasn't always about degrading another human being. Unfortunately, engaging in such promiscuous activities only brought about fleeting physical relief while increasing the amount of guilt she carried around because of how she achieved that much needed release.

Olivia always made certain to choose women who knew the score, that this was a one-night stand with no chance of evolving into a relationship. She always made sure that the other woman knew the rules because Olivia was not gentle when she was in her current mood. Nor was she willing to give up any degree of control during these phases, and that was something that actually scared her.

With what she saw at work every day, Olivia couldn't help but compare herself to the perpetrators that she hunted down. She would never take what wasn't freely offered, but her conscience didn't let her forgive herself for the driving need that she couldn't control. Thank God it didn't happen very often, usually not more than three or four times a year, and once the night was over she could usually focus with a much clearer mind on her work.

After debating with herself for hours about whether she should or shouldn't go out tonight, Olivia finally gave in. The benefits outweighed the consequences, at least that's what she told herself, and she always tried to take care not to hurt anyone while seeking her selfish release from reality for a few blessed hours. There had been little doubt that she would eventually give in as she always had in the past, but not giving in right away sometimes lessened her guilt later.

Olivia took a shower at eight that evening. The torturous wait making her skin prickle uncomfortably from anticipation and un-assuaged arousal; it wasn't uncontrollable yet but it was certainly working towards that end. She already knew where she would go, her usual hunting ground for nights such as this when anonymous sex was all she was after.

The dark-haired detective knew that the prime picks wouldn't be out until at least ten and usually even later than that. After years of catering to her demons, Olivia was well-practiced at her hunting routine. It was always a delicate dance she stepped for fulfilling the hated needs. Arriving early at the nightclub let her survey those in attendance and sometimes allowed her to pick her entertainment for the night quickly and get immediately down to business. If Olivia didn't have an ingrained aversion to using escorts or prostitutes, she would have made these nights strictly business transactions.

The downside to going to the club early was that if she didn't find a suitable candidate quickly then she was inundated with pheromones that only made her more desperate for release. It was difficult enough when she only had her own desires to contend with. Also, arriving early required her to turn down more offers before she found one that she would let satisfy her needs.

Olivia stepped out of the shower clean and a little less on edge then she'd been before. After years of basically being a slave to this feeling, Olivia knew that while a self-stimulated release wasn't even going to begin to scratch the surface of her needs, it did tend to make it easier to walk around the club without attacking every woman in sight. It gave her the ability to wait for one that fulfilled her carefully thought out requirements.

The detective dressed carefully, choosing clothes that she knew would emphasize her dominant nature tonight. She wasn't trying to hide what she was looking for as the more overtly predatory she appeared the less likely an innocent would get caught up in her game. Olivia's detective skills were good for determining if someone fit her criteria, but it was a little disheartening to turn down the young, newly adventurous ones and seeing their crestfallen expressions.

Although Olivia would usually wear a pair of jeans, tonight she chose a pair of black slacks that weren't as form-fitting as her jeans, needing the extra room in her pants tonight. The detective donned a long-sleeved black button-down shirt, leaving the top three buttons undone to reveal a large expanse of tanned olive-toned skin and an almost indecent amount of cleavage. She would usually wear an undershirt, but tonight she wanted as little clothing as possible between her and whomever she would choose. Olivia tucked in her shirt and slid a black leather belt through the loops in her slacks.

In the dark of the club only the simple silver belt buckle would break the seamless black expanse of her wardrobe. She slipped into a pair of comfortable black shoes before turning her attention to her hair. As short as it was, Olivia had recently had it cut to return it to easily manageable short spikes, the detective rarely had to do anything with it. But on nights like this, Olivia preferred to make it look messier than it naturally was to add to her feral appearance; another warning sign to anyone interested that she was undoubtedly the most dominant predator.

Olivia headed out the door at exactly ten o'clock and grabbed a cab in front of her apartment building. She directed him to Avalon, a club that catered exclusively to women. Olivia had gone to mixed clubs in the past but was ecstatic when she'd found the strictly lesbian venue. She had no interest in being any guy's entertainment for the night, even if it was only lived vicariously through their watching.

The detective tipped the cabbie well and strode confidently into the darkened club. She paid the cover charge and nodded to the bouncer, a tall, muscle-bound woman whom Olivia knew was well-suited to her job. Olivia had seen the beautiful ebony woman break up a couple of disagreement in past nights. On one occasion, she had even been tempted to try her luck with Jessie, but the bouncer had not returned the interest and Olivia was not interested in the chase, just the ultimate, inevitable conclusion.

Olivia immediately walked up to the bar, skirting the dance floor as if it held all sorts of communicable diseases for that was where the sexual energy was highest and therefore where she was most likely to lose control. She ordered a neat scotch to calm her jittery body before taking a preliminary perusal of the club. The main floor was primarily a dance floor with the bar along the north wall and small high-top tables lining the sides of the large dance area. Stairs to the right of the bar led to an upper level that held larger tables and a couple of private VIP rooms, if you had the money or were in good enough with the owners.

Bar space was severely limited as the demand for drinks was high, but Olivia was able to carve a space out for herself with relative ease. She took a corner spot where she could easily survey the crowd and had less of a chance of getting jostled repeatedly by women purchasing beverages. Desire was thrumming through her bloodstream and although the sensation could be described at pleasant under other circumstances, the unrelenting waves only made Olivia edgier.

Olivia had been searching the crown for almost twenty minutes when she caught sight of a blonde on the dance floor that looked surprisingly, achingly familiar. The woman had her back to Olivia, so she couldn't quite place the blonde. An unexpected stab of intense desire speared directly to her core, a surprise because Olivia knew it was geared towards this woman instead of it just being general arousal. Before now, all of Olivia's conquests had been interchangeable, none of them interesting her beyond their equal abilities to temporarily satisfy her hunger and quiet her demons.

Annoyed, and more than just a little intrigued, by this woman's unparalleled effect on her, Olivia left her glass at the bar and subconsciously stepped closer to the dance floor. Getting physically closer to the writing bodies on the floor would usually stimulate her arousal, but Olivia was focused solely on the mystery woman obviously dancing with her friends.

As much as these nights were about satisfying a physical need, Olivia always chose her partners using her head. It wasn't particularly difficult when one woman tended to arouse her to the same extent as any other. These nights were about picking a woman who could physically give what she needed to take and was emotionally able to accept that it had nothing to do with emotions, particularly any feelings of love.

But this was different. Olivia _wanted_ this mystery woman, and not just to satisfy her current sexual needs. It was a feeling that set off warning bells in her head but the even more intense hunger firing low in her belly caused Olivia to ignore those alarms. Olivia knew that if this woman responded to her, she would not care if the blonde fit her other carefully constructed criteria.

Just as Olivia was deciding how to best make her approach, the blonde goddess turned around and laughing blue eyes met the brunette's lust-glazed brown ones. The breath caught in Olivia's throat as the countenance of ADA Alexandra Cabot was revealed to her. Olivia could almost feel her heart stop beating for one infinitely long microsecond before it tripled its normal pace.

Never in all the years that they had worked together had Olivia ever even suspected that Alex might be gay. _She_ may have had a thing for the brilliant ADA since their first case together, but she had always assumed that it could only ever be one-sided. If she had know that Alex was a lesbian then Olivia would have felt a little less guilty for always fantasizing about her and maybe would have even gathered enough courage together to ask the amazing woman out.

Alex's eyes were immediately drawn to familiar brown orbs as she started to lead her two friends off the dance floor. She had only been to Avalon a couple of times before, but Alex had never seen Olivia here. If she had then she probably would have made it a habit to come to the club more often.

Since meeting the caring detective, Alex had enjoyed more than her fair share of fantasies starring Detective Olivia Benson. She had pegged the detective as gay after a few months of working with her, not one to rush such a conclusion. And although Alex had almost desperately wanted to ask Olivia out, the detective had not been forthcoming about her sexuality, well neither was Alex for that matter, and the attorney had a rule of not messing up her working relationships, which dating within her field tended to do.

Not one to shy away from confrontation, and actually quite eager to talk with the detective, Alex snake her way through the mass of bodies towards Olivia. At her back she could feel her friend Kate and Kate's girlfriend, both visiting for the weekend, follow her through the sea of sweaty flesh. Although she was having fun with them, Alex now wished that she was alone so she could spend time with the beautiful detective before her.

Alex stepped off the dance floor in her tight low-riding blue jeans and snug black tank top to stand directly in front of Olivia, leaving only a foot of space between their two bodies. She waited for Kate to pass her, leading her slightly intoxicated girlfriend to a just vacated table to the left of the dance floor. On her way by, the perceptive Kate told Alex to get their drinks and then meet them at their table, the loud music requiring Alex's friend to shout. She moved on to the table with her girlfriend in tow, leaving Alex to talk to the studly detective.

Before Alex could wet her suddenly dry mouth enough to get even a single word out, the blonde was unceremoniously pushed into the detective's body by a large group making their way to the bar. Olivia's arms came up to catch the off-balance attorney as she was pushed flush against her hard body. Alex couldn't suppress the gasp of surprise or the bolt of desire that sliced directly to her center when she pressed against the hard ridge that shouldn't have been in Olivia's pants. The detective was definitely equipped for some serious fun tonight and it was all Alex could do to at least partially stifle an uncontrollable moan.

Olivia steadied the attorney and pushed her back into her own space, enjoying the contact they'd shared but not wanting to tempt her fraying control. She knew that Alex had felt the toy strapped to her hips and was surprised when the blonde's eyelids fluttered closed while her hips pressed closer before Olivia had set her away. Olivia was a little embarrassed that a colleague knew she was wearing a strap-on, but a lot turned on by Alex's apparent positive response to it.

Alex quickly inclined her head in greeting to the detective, her ingrained politeness requiring her to say a terse acknowledgement before stepping around Olivia and striding up to the bar without looking back. She had planned to at least have a friendly talk with the detective, but her mind had changed once she'd registered the eagerness of her body's response when she'd felt Olivia's surprise. Alex was never so forward and was uncomfortable with not having control of her body's responses, which had never been a problem in the past; she had certainly never had a problem suppressing any outward signs of her arousal before now.

Olivia watched Alex's cold departure as the attorney ordered drinks for her and her friends. She could have sworn that Alex had been turned on by their accidental contact, but obviously she was wrong. And as much as Olivia wanted to pursue Alex, as much as her body wanted to share itself with Alex, the detective walked away, keeping to her cardinal rule of never forcing anyone to satiate her hunger.

It was seventeen minutes past midnight and Olivia still hadn't picked anyone to take to a hotel; she never brought her casual lovers to her apartment. She'd had ample opportunity and some good candidates to choose from, but she'd been unable to commit to any of them, probably because she still wanted Alex. Her body was burning up with its need to release and Olivia knew that she needed to choose quickly before her brain had no say in who would satisfy her demons tonight.

Olivia had been distracted since Alex had brushed her off earlier. She had unwillingly kept tabs on the beautiful blue-eyed blonde until Alex and her friends had gone up to the second level of the club. But even having Alex out of her line of vision had not caused the concentration or enthusiasm to return to her search, and the sense of urgency to get this night over with was becoming unbearable.

The green-eyed, red-headed vixen that Olivia was currently talking to at the bar was not her usually type, too skinny, but she had the right qualifications to satisfy Olivia's need. Just as Olivia was about to make her offer, she felt a hand from behind gently grasp her right arm just above the elbow. She turned to see one of the bartenders and leaned towards the dark-haired woman across the top of the bar when she motioned Olivia forward.

"Upstairs, blue doorway, third one down on your right," the gravelly smoker's voice said as she slipped a key into Olivia's hand. "She'll be waiting for you if you'd like to join her. Feel free to turn her down, she said, but I doubt anyone would do that," the bartender said with a short laugh before moving along to her waiting customers.

Olivia opened her hand to see the small key with a clear blue plastic coating over the handle. She had talked to quite a few women tonight and the detective wondered which would be so bold as to proposition her like this. And even though it went against her need for control, Olivia excused herself and made her way up the stairs to find out who her mystery guest was. She seriously hoped it would be someone that she could fuck without her guilt eating her alive.

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><p>Alex brought the drinks back to the table that Kate and Jill had laid claim to, but couldn't seem to concentrate on their conversation. Her eyes kept drifting to the woman who had seriously tested her icy control for many years. It was after being caught not listening for the seventh time in the last half hour that Alex suggested they make their way upstairs to the slightly quieter level, and take away her ability to continue to stare at Olivia as she made conversation with multiple different women.<p>

The move did not help her focus and eventually Kate just pushed her to open up on the subject. "You know, I think Jill and I are going to head back to the hotel. Why don't you go find the black knight and bring her home with you?" Kate said as she once again brought her girlfriend's searching hand up onto the tabletop and away from her crotch. She was not much into exhibitionism and there was only so much longer she could hold Jill at bay.

"What?" Alex said, clearly a little uncomfortable with talking about the woman she'd connected with earlier.

"You know who I'm talking about, Alex," Kate said, not allowing the attorney to retreat inside herself once again. "Sex-messed brown hair, heated brown eyes, and that incredible pure black outfit that looks like a well-designed uniform." Hell, if Kate hadn't already been committed to Jill then she would have taken a shot at tall, dark, and brooding herself.

"You should see her in uniform," Alex let slip before she knew what she was going to say.

Kate's expressive cat-like green eyes widened as she put together what Alex had just said with other things she'd squeezed from her usually close-mouthed best friend over the past few years. "_That_ was the famous Detective Benson?"

At Alex's evasive glance, Kate knew that she had guessed right. "Damn, Alex, then you _really_ need to get your ass back down there and snap her up before anyone else does. That woman was oozing sex and you know you need to get laid. And who better to do the deed than the enigmatic detective you've been crushing on since you started this job."

Leave it to Kate to blatantly state a whole lot of uncomfortable truths. Alex had in fact been infatuated with the female detective forever and she hadn't been intimate with anyone in quite a while, hadn't had a girlfriend in quite some time. And while the feral nature that Olivia had exuded tonight had not been something that Alex was expecting, she had to admit that it really turned her on. She had never seen Olivia so close to losing control and she realized that she wanted to experience what it would be like to drive the detective wild.

"What about you two?" Alex asked just as Kate a little less then playfully slapped Jill's hands away from her chest.

Kate took her eyes off of her lover's wandering hands for a second to look at Alex in disbelief. "Please. If I don't get Jill back to the hotel really soon, I doubt I'll ever be allowed to come back here again. She may be small, but my girl is hella strong when she wants something and I can only put her off for so long. Not that I mind," Kate was quick to reassure as she dipped her head to take her girlfriend's mouth in a heated kiss.

"You sure you'll be fine?" Alex asked once more, even though she had no desire to stay around the affectionate couple right now. They'd kept their public displays of affection to a minimum until recently, so Alex hadn't minded that she was sort of the third wheel. But now that Jill was obviously eager to get Kate into bed, Alex was reminded that she hadn't had anyone there in a long time, probably too long.

"Yes, Alex, just go. Get your detective and have as good a night as I'm going to have," Kate said with a wink as she helped Jill to her feet and headed them towards the exit.

Alex sat for almost ten minutes after they'd left, thinking about Kate's suggestion. It was not like Alex to hook up for one night with anyone, but Kate had pointed out that Alex had been infatuated with the strong detective almost since the first time they'd met. The problem was that it was as much a good thing as it was a bad thing that Olivia was already an acquaintance.

After turning it over in her mind, Alex finally decided that they were both adults and could handle it if they had sex tonight, and she was certain that was all Olivia was looking for tonight. They could have this one night of pleasure together and still be able to work together as though nothing had changed. Both of them had the self-control to accomplish that, right?

Alex went back down to the first floor and immediately spotted Olivia talking to a pretty redhead. Not wanting to embarrass herself by interrupting, Alex walked up to the bar and flagged down Maria, one of the bartenders and also co-owner of the club. Having been acquainted with each other for some time, Maria gladly conceded to Alex's wish to use one of the smaller VIP rooms and agreed to deliver her message to Olivia on the other side of the bar.

Her quickly thought up plan set into motion, Alex walked back upstairs and let herself into the blue room. It was simply furnished with a mini bar in the corner and a small table set up on the opposite side of the room. There were a few more comfortable chairs set up at the back of the room for more casual conversations.

Alex was over by the table, running her fingers along the hard, smooth wooden surface to sort of ground herself in the moment when she heard the lock turn and the door open. Olivia looked even better in the muted light of this private room than she had in the club. Alex could feel her desire increase tenfold as she stood staring dumbfounded at the strong, lean, and sexily predatory detective.

She saw a second of surprise and confusion cross Olivia's face before a mask of neutrality was once again in place. It seemed as if the detective was surprised that it was her who had issued this invitation, but Alex took it as a positive sign when Olivia shut and locked the door instead of turning around and walking out. At least Alex now knew that Olivia desired her, too.

Olivia stalked towards the attorney and Alex got the distinct impression that the detective was trying to frighten or intimidate her. If Olivia thought that the power she exuded, that Alex could almost feel rippling off of her, was going to scare her then she needed to rethink her approach. Alex could feel her skin tingle and wasn't surprised when she felt moisture begin to gather between her legs.

When she was as close as she could be without actually touching Alex, the detective stopped. Olivia may have been surprised that Alex had invited her here, she hadn't thought that the attorney was the kind to have non-committed sex, but that didn't meant Olivia didn't want her. The same thought as earlier passed through her mind, which was that if Alex wanted her then she would take the blonde even if she didn't fit her usual criteria.

"Do you want this, Alex?" Olivia asked, needing to hear the words even though she could read Alex's trembling body quite well.

"Yes," Alex said, as simply put and as honest an answer as she could give.

Olivia brought her hands up to wrap around Alex's waist and moved that last half step closer to bring their bodies into contact. She slanted her mouth across Alex's and tasted the attorney's lips for the first time, relishing something that she had only dreamed about before. At Alex's eager response, Olivia stroked her tongue along the blonde's lower lip until Alex granted her entrance.

The detective pulled their pelvises together and felt Alex gasp into her mouth as she was once again made blatantly aware of the toy strapped to Olivia's hips. Olivia was again hit with the memory of Alex walking away the last time they'd been pressed this close together and she didn't think she could handle it if she scared Alex away now.

"I'm sorry," she said as she tore her mouth away from Alex's and angled her hips away to sever the contact of their lower bodies. "I can take it off," she said breathlessly, just wanting to convince Alex not to walk out of this room and leave her wanting. Olivia may have wanted to take tonight's anonymous lover with the strap-on, but she just needed to have Alex, in whatever way she could.

Alex looked into the pained brown eyes of her soon-to-be lover and came to a decision. She was not averse to using toys or a strap-on in particular, but it had been a while since she'd had sex of any kind. Also, Alex had never been comfortable with using toys the first time she was with someone because it took some time for her to trust a lover enough to allow it, but Alex sensed that Olivia needed this. She didn't have a single doubt that the detective would be careful with her or stop if she didn't feel completely comfortable.

"It's okay, just start slow," Alex said as she pecked Olivia on the lips before focusing on unbuttoning the detective's shirt. She pulled it out of Olivia's pants to undo the last button and slowly spread her palms over the smooth, heated skin of the brunette's abdomen. Alex had always enjoyed touching her lovers but the pleasure that suffused her being at feeling Olivia under her hands was on a completely different level, so incredible.

Olivia trembled at the feeling, not used to allowing her lovers to touch her when she was trying to rid herself of her demons. But Alex was different, even if she was having a hard time admitting it to herself, and Olivia would let her touch all she wanted. "Only if you're sure," the detective was finally able to get out. "I don't want to hurt you."

Alex pushed the shirt from the beautifully defined musculature of Olivia's shoulders and helped the detective when the sleeves got caught around her wrists. "You won't," she said as she looked her fill of Olivia's nearly bare torso. At the same time that she was awed by Olivia obvious physical strength, Alex was unnecessarily jealous of the black satin bra that loving cupped the detective's breasts.

Before she could divest Olivia of that last barrier between her and what was certainly the most spectacular chest Alex had ever had the privilege to touch, the detective took hold of the bottom of Alex's tank top and pulled it over her head. Olivia was stunned for one long moment at the revelation of Alex's long, lean torso, the muscles of the blonde's abdomen surprisingly taut. The brunette lowered her head to place a kiss against the tight surface, just below the belly button, before she was pulled back up to meet Alex's lips once again.

Alex drew Olivia back to her lips and slipped her hands around the detective's back to unhook that enviable bra. Olivia helped to strip it off and no sooner was it gone then Alex's hands were caressing the supple flesh. She smiled at the groan she lovingly pulled from Olivia when she tweaked her nipples into hard peaks before covering the left one with her mouth.

Olivia slid her hand into the hair at the back of Alex's head and held her tighter to her breast. It had been years since she'd had a lover that she'd allowed to reciprocate without her explicitly directing the actions. Right now she wasn't controlling the movements; she was encouraging whatever Alex wanted to do. It was a fine distinction but an important one, more important than perhaps either of them knew.

Alex switched breasts, needing to taste both and not wanting to allow one to become over-sensitized. When Olivia started to pull Alex away from her chest the blonde did not go willingly and flatly refused to remove her lips from the detective's tempting body by laying a line of kisses up to Olivia's neck. The brunette groaned loudly when Alex bit the muscle connecting her shoulder and her neck.

Olivia pulled Alex up to her mouth and took control of their game. She removed Alex's bra and discarded it into the growing pile of clothes on the floor. As she palmed the attorney's beautiful, creamy breasts, Olivia thought how perfect they felt in her hands. Alex's response kept Olivia's hands right where they were for far longer than she normally would have stayed, teasing the nipples into erectness.

The detective recaptured Alex's lips and slid her hands down over Alex's hips to her ass, enjoying a quick caress before lifting the blonde up to sit on the table at her back. Alex quickly toed her shoes off in anticipation of Olivia relieving her of the rest of her clothes. She didn't have to wait long as the detective slowly ran her fingers down Alex's sides to converge at the button on the top of her jeans.

Olivia pulled back from Alex's lips and looked into those beautiful stormy blue eyes. If she had seen any hint of doubt or hesitation in those fathomless depths Olivia would have found some way to stomp down on her arousal and let Alex go, but there was nothing but desire and trust shining through. Slowly, Olivia released the button and unzipped Alex's jeans.

Alex found herself watching the detective's very capable hands as Olivia undid her pants. She had never watched another person undress her before and she found that it just made her more impatient, although she had a feeling that it might have more to do with _who_ was undressing her rather than that she was watching. When Olivia slipped just her fingertips into the very top of Alex's panties, the attorney didn't want to be teased and lifted her hips in invitation.

Olivia pulled Alex's underwear down along with her pants when the blonde lifted her hips. And when Alex was sitting before her completely naked, all Olivia could do was stare in awe for a few minutes. Shapely calves preceded smooth, toned thighs that spoke of a religiously held to running regimen and at the apex of Alex's thighs was a sight few had ever been allowed to view. Olivia was humbled that the very heart of Alex was exposed and wet for her.

The burning desire in Olivia's eyes as she looked at her only made the slickness between Alex's thighs thicker. It was as if a fire was raging out of control inside the detective and she was only holding on to her control by a precarious thread. That heated look made Alex move to the edge of the table and reach out to pull Olivia to her by the belt. She needed physical contact and she needed it now.

Olivia gave Alex the contact she wanted, taking the blonde's mouth in another kiss; she had never enjoyed this simple pleasure more than when she shared it with Alex. It was only when she felt Alex's hands trying to manipulate her belt buckle that Olivia progressed from the simple contact. She removed Alex's hands from her body, placing them on the table at the blonde's side to help steady Alex as she slid her hand to the juncture of Alex's thighs.

Alex gripped the edge of the table hard as Olivia played in the moist strip of trimmed hair covering Alex's sex without dipping in. Olivia couldn't have Alex release her until she'd prepared the blonde much better because she feared that she would lose control as soon as Alex touched her. Whatever else happened tonight, Olivia promised herself that she wouldn't hurt Alex; she would never hurt Alex.

She traced a light touch along Alex's labia, deepening the caress when Alex jerked in response and spread her legs wider apart. Olivia's fingers slid easily through the slick folds and she marveled at how wet Alex was, just for her. A possessive feeling came over her, something she had never felt before with her interchangeable lovers, and Olivia wanted to be allowed this pleasure forever.

Alex cried out when Olivia lightly grazed her already hardened clit and silently urged her lover to go faster. She was right on the edge after only a minute of light attention and Alex knew it wouldn't take much to push her over into oblivion. If it was anyone else then she might have been embarrassed by how instantly ready she was, but Olivia appreciated the telltale twitching of her muscles and urged her over into orgasm.

It had been so long for Alex and she wanted Olivia so much that all it took were three firm strokes across her sensitive clit to send her spiraling out of control with Olivia whispering encouragement into her sweat-slicked hair the entire time. Olivia only stopped her slowing movements when Alex's arms came around her and she returned the attorney's embrace, waiting for Alex to recover.

There was no need to withhold Alex's orgasm when Olivia wanted Alex as wet and ready and relaxed as possible before she entered her. And Olivia knew that it wouldn't be a hardship to dedicate the time to getting Alex ready as she was already addicted to making Alex come after just one amazing climax. This night was fast becoming about the woman she was with rather than her satisfying her demons.

When Alex began to relax again, Olivia took it as her cue to amp the blonde up again. Olivia kissed the attorney once more before dropping swiftly to her knees and fitting her shoulders between Alex's spread legs. She leaned forward to taste Alex intimately for the first time, a pleasure that she did not _ever_ allow herself with casual lovers because of the dangers it involved. Olivia groaned her approval when Alex clasped at the back of her head.

"God, Liv," Alex moaned as the detective laid broad, practiced licks along her most intimate region. She threaded her fingers through silky strands that were once again cut super short, just as Alex preferred they be.

Olivia brought her hand up between Alex's thighs and gently pushed one finger inside of her, feeling the tight channel grip hungrily at the digit. After a few experimental strokes, Olivia seamlessly allowed another to join the first, encouraged by Alex's cries of pleasure. All the while she was gently swiping her tongue over Alex's once again hard clit. Olivia wasn't giving Alex enough pressure to stimulate her orgasm, but the multiple points of contact were causing Alex to drip with wetness.

In a split second of lucidity, Alex began to pull Olivia away from her sex. Olivia looked up at her in confusion until Alex was able to speak. "Up. I'm ready," she was able to gasp out before Olivia's still thrusting fingers again took away her ability to speak.

Understanding dawned slowly on Olivia as she had gotten so lost in Alex that she'd forgotten how she usually took her one-night stands. It was peculiar how Olivia had always considered having sex that way to be rather impersonal because the toy wasn't actually a part of her. But with Alex, Olivia knew it was about trust and this already felt more intimate and personal than anything she'd ever felt.

Olivia had been totally lost in making love to Alex, no longer concerned one bit about temporarily satisfying her own desires, about silencing her strangely quiet demons. "It's okay, Lex, this is better," Olivia breathed as she prepared to lower her mouth back to Alex's pussy once again.

The slightly less than gentle tugging at the back of her head didn't stop and Alex even reached down to stop the still rhythmic thrusting of Olivia's hand, even though she couldn't quite bring herself to try to pull the detective's fingers from her body. "I want you to," Alex said as she urged Olivia to stand up again. And she really did, Alex trusted Olivia enough to share her body in any way with the detective.

Olivia did as directed and stood back up after slowly pulling her fingers out of Alex and taking one last taste of that sweet divine nectar. She let Alex unbuckle her belt and teasingly pull it from around her waist, still a little worried about her control but trusting in her conviction not to make Alex uncomfortable. Olivia watched as the blonde attorney unbuttoned her slacks and slid the zipper down, her throat working to swallow at how torturously slow Alex was going.

"Off," Alex demanded when she'd worked Olivia's pants down over the detective's hips.

Olivia was quick to obey, tearing her socks and shoes off before pushing her pants to the floor and stepping out of them. She straightened back up and watched Alex as her hungry eyes took in everything that she'd exposed, including the silicone appendage strapped securely to her hips.

A smile played across Alex's lips as she said, "I actually prefer the strapless ones." She reached down and grasped the shaft, repositioning it against Olivia until the brunette gasped as Alex pushed it back into her clitoris. The smile only got bigger when Alex heard the involuntary sound and knew she'd moved it into the optimal position for both their pleasures.

After expelling a groan of pleasure and regaining some control over her ravenous, trembling body, Olivia was able to focus on what Alex had said. "I do, too, but this was uncomfortable enough to walk around with for hours, I don't think I could have done it with something actually inside of me, too." Although if Alex wanted to try this again sometime, she was willing to give it a try, Olivia thought with another groan as Alex bumped the base of the cock against her again.

Not willing to wait any longer, Alex slid her hand from the toy to Olivia's hips and pulled the detective closer. She lifted her head and was rewarded when Olivia read her desire and took her mouth in an intense, wet kiss. Her detective was certainly very good at using her tongue to the benefit of both their pleasures.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked once again, brushing the hair back from Alex's face, knowing that she could happily live without this if Alex had any doubts.

"Yes," Alex answered without any hesitation as she leaned back slightly, taking her weight on her hands and hooking a leg around Olivia's waist to draw the brunette closer.

Olivia stepped forward and slid the shaft along Alex's slit, teasing her and coating the toy with Alex's juices. The blonde moaned her approval and when Olivia looked up to her face, diverting her attention from where their bodies would soon be joined, it was to find Alex looking at her with trust and desire. Nothing could have convinced Olivia more that what they were about to do was without a doubt, one hundred percent okay with Alex.

"Inside, Liv, I want you inside me," Alex said as she tightened her thigh around Olivia's hip.

Olivia leaned her upper body close and caught Alex in a mind-erasing kiss before pulling back and taking hold of the cock as she positioned it at Alex's entrance. She kept eye contact with the woman spread out before her as she applied light pressure, not wanting to cause Alex any discomfort since she was unfamiliar with how much Alex could take. It took a lot more self-control than Olivia thought she possessed to not just thrust harshly into Alex's open body, especially with the blonde's leg around her hip urging her to move faster.

They both released a breath when the tip slipped inside and Olivia could've sworn she felt Alex's inner muscles gripping around her. Olivia pushed deeper, now watching the shaft disappear inside her lover. She halted immediately upon hearing Alex whimper. Her eyes flew up to see Alex also watching what she'd been doing and realized the whimper wasn't from pain but from the visual stimulation.

Alex's eyes pulled from watching Olivia between her thighs to stare pleadingly into eyes turned black with an incredibly intense desire. A shudder of pleasure rippled through Alex's body as she felt Olivia's passion wash over her. "Don't stop," Alex commanded as she brought her other leg up around Olivia's waist, not wanting to allow her to pull back.

Olivia tried to smile reassuringly, not about to stop if Alex was still good with the size of the strap-on and the pressure she was applying, but she thought the expression probably looked more like a grimace as she tried to retain her control. Alex was incredibly tight, so Olivia took a couple of gentle strokes at her current depth before giving Alex another inch. Olivia couldn't believe how much she could feel through the silicone appendage.

"So good, Liv, so good," Alex encouraged, wanted to allay any remaining fears that Olivia still harbored about hurting her and get the detective to give her more.

"Lex," Olivia groaned as she finally slid the last couple of inches deep inside her lover. She held still, the muscles in her thighs and back flexed and rigid, trembling as she resisted the urge to pull out and start thrusting quite yet. Olivia wanted to give Alex a little more time to adjust to the fullness she must be feeling. The fists Olivia had at Alex's hips clenched sporadically, wanting to grasp the blonde but knowing she would probably leave marks if she did.

"Move," Alex demanded. She knew that Olivia needed to be assured that this was what she wanted and the detective may have stayed buried within her indefinitely has she not encouraged Olivia to continue. If not for the intensity of what she was feeling and the intimate position they were currently in, Alex would have laughed at the fact that the strong, independent detective needed her verbal approval before making love to her.

Olivia moved slowly at first, feeling the tension in her body that was caused by her fear of hurting Alex release, only to be replaced by a much sweeter tension, one that was even more intense and consuming. She finally unclenched her fists and held Alex's hips against her increasing thrusts, groaning when Alex picked up the rhythm and moved against her. Nothing had ever felt as perfect as this, as just being here with Alex.

Alex's verbal and physical encouragement, her approval of every move Olivia made, eventually got Olivia to pick up her pace. It wasn't long after that the detective was precariously close to falling over the edge. She didn't want to come before she'd made sure Alex could orgasm too, so she kept her hips pumping fast and steady while sliding her hand from the blonde's hip to stroke Alex's clit with the perfect amount of pressure.

"Fuck," Alex cried when Olivia took her between a thumb and forefinger and milked her clit. On the second pull, Alex contracted her abdominals and jerked up to hold onto Olivia as she climaxed, much harder than she had the first time. Her entire body shuddered with convulsions and her inner muscles grasped pleadingly at Olivia's cock as the detective groaned once more against Alex's neck and came with her lover.

It was as much the sound of Alex screaming her name as it was the pressure of the strap-on against her clit that pushed her over into climax, probably more so; if Alex screamed for her like that every time she came, Olivia doubted that she'd need clitoral or internal stimulation to orgasm. And it was only made better by the way Alex clung to her, their sweat dampened bodies almost adhering to each other, not that either of them cared. Olivia had never been so close to another person and wished she could stay this way with Alex forever.

As her breath, and soaring soul, came back to her body, Olivia noticed not just the quieting of her demons but the complete absence of them. She was too happy at the moment to hear their abrasive, self-loathing voices. Olivia had no idea that such intense emotions as the ones she'd just shared with Alex could not only drown out her demons, but make her forget they were ever there.

Alex hung on to Olivia for as long as she could, but her muscles were fast becoming depleted of any strength. She fell flat on her back on the tabletop, Olivia's strong arms the only thing preventing her from crashing to the hard wooden surface, her legs dropping from around the detective's waist. Not even the uncomfortably cold wood pressing against the heated skin of her back could force her to move right now.

If Alex had been able to even keep her eyes open, she would have seen Olivia looking down at her with the most amazing expression. Even if Olivia didn't know it, she was looking at the woman beneath her with absolute love. She knew she'd never worn a lover, or herself, out to this extent before. Not just that, but she still craved Alex, her warmth, her smile, her mind, and, amazingly, even her body after such an explosive, all-consuming orgasm.

As gently as she could, Olivia pulled out of Alex, drawing small noises of displeasure from the blonde, but Alex did nothing to stop her. Apparently those noises took up the last bit of energy reserve that Alex had to expend because she didn't move after that for a while. Olivia felt an odd sense of pride well up within her at having completely worn Alex out.

Olivia unstrapped the harness and dropped the contraption to the floor. Looking at Alex, the detective was caught between two conflicting desires. Olivia wanted to hold the blonde, keep Alex close until she was strong enough to get up and put her clothes back on.

The other part of Olivia, a part that had no business being anything other than dormant in the wake of complete satisfaction, wanted to take Alex again. As she took another step closer to Alex and her gaze wandered the beautiful body laid out before her, the desire to pleasure Alex again became stronger. The only thing stopping her was that Olivia wasn't convinced that she'd actually be pleasing Alex if she touched her right now after what they'd just done; there was such a thing as being over-sensitized.

Deciding to try it anyway, Olivia knelt in front of Alex, the blonde's legs still splayed open and giving the detective more than enough room to maneuver. The musky scent of their love making was strong and Olivia's mouth was nearly salivating for another taste of Alex. She gently fit her mouth over Alex's sex, not specifically stimulating any part with her tongue just yet, not until she decided if Alex could take it or not.

Alex jerked at the unexpected sensation. She had lost track of Olivia after she'd collapsed onto the table, unable to keep her eyes open and too focused on the feelings rushing through her to feel anything external to her body. Truthfully, she was sore, but as Olivia moved slowly, gently over her, she realized two things. One was that everything that Olivia was doing felt really fucking good, much more pleasurable than painful. And the second was that she was probably going to come in less than a minute anyway, so why fight it.

Not long after Olivia began, she could feel the tremors start deep within Alex's body. The attorney was able to lift one hand to burrow through the detective's hair, but the touch was to encourage her instead of asking her to stop so Olivia kept going. And when Alex came softly in Olivia's mouth, uttering only a cracked and barely whispered 'Liv' the detective gently lapped up every drop of delicious ambrosia.

Olivia pulled away from Alex's sex and gathered the beautiful woman in her arms. She cradled Alex against her and carried her over to a large, comfortable chair at the back of the room where she held the attorney in her lap. It was the only place where Olivia could hold Alex and regain some of her own strength, and the detective was unwilling to give up cuddling with Alex for a little while.

Alex snuggled into the detective, her arms draped around Olivia's shoulders and her face buried in the brunette's salty neck. She had just enough energy to let one hand play in the sweat-slicked hair at the back of Olivia's neck. How many times had she dreamed of this and never imagined it would happen, and certainly never had she believed it could be this good.

"Rest a little," Olivia whispered into the incredibly still room. It was amazing how peace followed so closely on the heels of such tumultuous emotions. "When you're ready we'll go home."

The hand playing in Olivia's hair stopped for a few seconds and Olivia realized how her words could be construed. She should have specified that she meant she wanted Alex to come home with her. It was something she hadn't experience before, trying to convince someone to come back to her place instead of insisting on going their separate ways.

"Your place?" Alex asked as her hand again started stroking the soft hair in a way that made Olivia want to purr. She had originally thought that Olivia meant for them to go to their separate apartments after the past couple of hours of mind-blowing sex, but then decided that her tone wasn't indicative of a brush off.

"If you'd like. We can go to your place if you'd be more comfortable," Olivia said, subconsciously holding Alex closer as if to protect her.

Alex smiled tiredly and drew Olivia's mouth down to hers for a leisurely kiss. "Your place is fine," she said after she'd regained her voice after another breathtaking kiss and leaned her head back into the crook of Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia smiled contentedly and settled in to wait until they were both strong enough to get back on their feet and put their clothes back on. Not a single anxious thought crossed her mind at the idea of Alex coming back to her sanctuary, a place where she rarely even invited her few girlfriends.

And Olivia heard not one peep from the demons who usually occupied her mind; they were all drowning in Olivia's newfound emotions.

* * *

><p><strong>So, there it is, the culmination of a week of my life that I'm not getting back. And, sadly, I don't even know if I like it.<strong>

**Let me know what you readers out there think. Thanks.**


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